How to Disappear
Self-portrait series

Some days I want to be seen.
Other days I want to vanish.

It’s not even clear what I’m asking for.
I just know the feeling.
Too visible. Too invisible.
Watched when I don’t want to be. Ignored when I do.

There’s something about being alone that doesn’t always feel private.
Even when no one’s there, I still feel the echo of eyes.

I try to stay soft, but sometimes softness feels dangerous.
Sometimes I want to cover everything.
Sometimes I want to let it all show.
And sometimes I want both in the same breath.

Is it possible to be honest without being exposed?
To take up space without offering myself?

I don’t know.
But this was my way of asking.
Quietly.